I got the call at three A.M., the time I usually get the call. I have been meaning to talk to the phone call people about that as I really need my sleep and phone calls in the middle of the night really put an annoying damper on that.
Anyhoos, as I was saying, I got the call at 3:00 AM. Actually, it probably wasn’t exactly 3:00 AM when I got the call as it may have been a few minutes, give or take. I just tend not to look at the clock when someone calls, making it very difficult to determine exactly when someone has called me.
Which got me thinking about our criminal justice system, especially when my mind starts thinking about court room interrogations when the prosecutor asks the defendant, “Where were you at 3:00 in the morning?” I mean how is anyone supposed to remember what he or she was doing at 3:00 in the morning? Not everyone gets that call at 3AM so they’ll be able to remember what they were doing at 3:00 in the morning, or even where they were. Okay, I admit that if someone’s not a night owl, they’re probably going to remember where they were. They were sleeping, unless they’re me.
I did mention I have trouble sleeping, right? And if you get calls at 3AM, well, you’re probably not going get a lot of sleep.
But I wasn’t really planning to tell you about my sleep problems. I wanted to tell you about what happened when that call came in, ruining my night’s sleep.
It was a new case that needed solving, and as a sleep-deprived private eye, this was my toughest one ever. Some politics-creating miscreant reached out of the abyss of my dismal sleep and wanted to hire me to track down some laptop that appeared to be owned by the president’s son because it contained secrets about something important, like a new brand of tangy peanut butter or the nuclear launch codes that Mr. Biden had somehow gotten ahold of during conversations with his father over the phone.
Look, I don’t question what they want me to find. I just find it.
My first lead brought me to a pawn shop in Massachusetts where he might have dropped it off to get serviced. Or it might have been a repair shop. Yeah, that sounds a little more correct. I mean who gets their laptop repaired at a pawn shop?