The Mysterious Passenger of Flight 1009

A woman, known only as The Screaming Midriff Woman (she’s probably known by a better name, but I’m going with that one). Anyway, this is the woman on American Airlines’ Flight 1009 who kind of went crazy screaming about a guy in a green hoodie. In her words: “I’m telling you, I’m getting the f*ck off, and there’s a reason why I’m getting the f*ck off,” she yells while staring towards the back of the plane. “And everyone can either believe it or they can not believe it. I don’t give two f*cks.” What I have determined is that she likes to use the word “f*ck” a lot. More than me. Which is a huge lot more.

What fascinated me is all of the stories about the guy with the green hoodie. She sort of insinuated he wasn’t human. She added: “But I am telling you right now, that motherf*cker back there is not real.” Again, the use of that word, but now referring to one’s mother.

Which leaves me wondering if we’ve hit a stage in human development where non-humans are interacting with us, and even taking planes to travel across the country. This isn’t the first time this has happened either. If we look back about 300,000 years ago, right before country music was invented, we find the first moment when humans shared the planet with another species trying to blend in: Those evil homosapien neanderthals. Although I don’t have any records of this happening, I’ll bet a…